#155; because when your smile is a real smile, it turns the world around.

I am not feeling well lately, despite everything in my life going swimmingly. I’ve been feeling introspective and not writing nearly enough for all the words tumbling around in my head and this condition tends to lead to me not feeling well. A sort of… Unsettled stomach kind of feeling in my heart.

When I’m feeling like this I try, so hard, to focus on the things that make me happy. It also seems that this time of year – despite my Grinchy ways – is a great time to take stock and be open about all you’re thankful for and the things in life that make you breath a little bit easier.

Clothes neatly organized in a closet. An almost-too-comfortable bed. Old emails from misplaced friends (you know where they are, you haven’t lost them, but somewhere along the way the friendship was simply… misplaced). The feel of a notebook in my hands. Indulging in sappiness. Road trip plans (Myrtle ’11 v1.0 is already in the works with the former Roomie!). The Pogues. The Magnetic Fields. Knowing that Boston still stands & I can always go home. Close friends near and far. New music. New friends. Indulging in too many sweets. My family, who astound me daily with their astute observations, recommendations, and pure love. The District of Columbia, which still owns so much of my heart & soul. The 757, which has opened its heart & soul to me in the last 6 months. My car, which is a huge shiny pain in my ass but which I love, because it’s just so me. Learning new things every day. The fact that I am healthy & breathing & drug free (nicotine does not count, it’s a food group, not an addiction). The fact that my loved ones are as well. Tumblr & Livejournal and the amazing communities I have been a part of online through the years. A boyfriend who understands my crazy, lets me be who I am, shows me love & kindness everyday, and has let me be a part of his life – I really can’t say enough about how thankful I am for him. Warm weather. Kind words. An encouraging network of poets and writers and artists. Free beer. A neighborhood bar. Time to write & freedom to work with my craft without stress or worry. Relaxation.

I am thankful for so much this year, for 2010 has been good to me in ways I couldn’t imagine in January. I am a blessed individual, and Scrooge or not, this is a point of recognition for me. Thank you, readers, for being with me throughout this time of transition and discovery. Then again, I guess it wouldn’t be Limbo if it was stable, would it?

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