#332; thawing out

false starts, re-sets, and figuring yourself out along the way

Boston seems to be finally thawing out. This winter was brutal. Short, but brutal nonetheless. Of course we’ve had snow the last two days as I write this, but at least I can see my sidewalk (almost entirely) again. For most of February and March, we couldn’t.

But here we are, on the other side of another winter in Boston. Relocated from Dorchester to Southie (that was our November adventure) and settled into a new apartment and new jobs and a new year. Three months in, I think I can finally look back on 2014 with a more level head. I’m less emotional about it thanks to the distance time affords us. I can also say, however, that I have not kicked 2015’s ass like I’d hoped. Though, I am doing better with my medications and my mental health and I think that’s an incredible start to any year. Honestly, as anyone medicated for mental health would probably tell you, that’s really the start of anything.

Having gotten to a level period (yes, finally, three months into the year), I’ve finally started thinking about some goals for the year.

⚐ I want to be more active. I’ve started by getting back to using my Nike+ FuelBand (an amazing birthday gift for my 30th last summer) to actually keep track of how active I am. I’m walking more, now that winter is nearly over, and as the weather gets warmer I’m hoping to start jogging regularly.

⚐ I’m writing more. I’m tackling the novel I began last year with a new, wild abandon and I’m feeling really good about story telling again for the first time in a long while. Grace’s story is one of false starts, re-sets, and figuring yourself out along the way. I feel that while her journey is very different than mine, the themes are close to my heart. I’m hoping that Camp Nanowrimo in April will be the push that I need to finish the first draft (of hopefully 100,000 words, of which I have 35k written). By the end of this year I hope to have an edited, finished novel that I can (maybe!) be shopping to editors and agents.

⚐ This year I’m learning more and taking it more seriously. I’m using my OCD-tendencies to my advantage and paying attention to how I organize myself, my home, and my life. I’m also using my daily resources to better advantage and will be learning more about food and cooking at my day job (where I host at a fantastic fine dining restaurant in Cambridge). The Chefs in our kitchen have offered to give me a couple of lessons in basic culinary arts and I’ll be starting soon, on my days off, and I can’t wait. My major goal of cooking a delicious beef wellington here at home isn’t far off, I can feel it!

⚐ Eventually, I’m looking forward to jumping back into “my career” in politics and advocacy. I haven’t decided what that will look like yet, and I’m still really enjoying my “time off” – working at the restaurant and as a volunteer activist in my free time – but I know that soon I will feel more comfortable putting myself back out there and trying again to help save the world.

There they are. My preliminary, baby step goals for the last nine months of 2015. I don’t want to look back on this year knowing that it got the best of me, like I did with 2013 and 2014. I want to focus on staying even-keeled and growing from there. It doesn’t sound like an insurmountable goal and it doesn’t sound very exciting, but for someone who has rarely felt it in my life, it’s the starting point of everything.

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